Spotlights dimmed, Curtain drawn!
How empty the stage, with the player gone!
The silence and darkness pervade all the space,
We will miss your sparkle. W will miss your face.
In our fond memories you will always remain
Fare ye well till we “share the boards” again
…your living room sofa spends more time on stage than you do.
…you have your own secret family recipe for stage blood.
…you can find a prop in the prop room that hasn’t seen the light of day in ten years, but you don’t know where your own vacuum cleaner is.
…you start buying your work clothes at second-hand stores so you can buy costumes at the shopping mall.
…you’ve ever cleaned a tuxedo with a magic marker.
…you’ve ever appeared on stage in an outfit held together with hot glue.
…you’ve ever appeared in a show where tech week is devoted to getting the running time under four hours.
…you’ve ever appeared in a show where the cast outnumbered the audience.
…you’ve ever gotten a part because you were the only one who showed up for the audition.
…you’ve ever menaced anyone with a gun held together with duct tape.
…you’ve ever had to haul a sofa offstage between scenes wearing a dinner gown and high heels.
…you’ve ever had to haul a sofa offstage between scenes wearing a dinner gown and high heels…and you’re a guy.
…your kids know your lines better than you do.
…you’ve ever had to play a drunk scene opposite someone who was REALLY drunk.
…you’ve ever heard a director say, “try not to bump into the furniture”, and mean it.
…you’ve ever heard the head of the set construction crew say: “just paint it black – no one will ever see it”.
…the set designer has ever told you not to walk on the left half of the stage because the floor’s still wet –five minutes before curtain.
…you’ve ever said, “Don’t worry –we’ll just staple it!”.